Do I Quit My Job?

This question has bothered me often these days. While I didn’t want to consider it, it still made me think why it crossed my mind in the first place. Others may think that it’s easy for us to quit but it’s not. There are a lot of sleepless nights and mornings when we feel like we’re dragging ourselves to a place where we don’t feel happy anymore or sometimes we just feel like we have had enough. Some would suggest to give it some time just because it’s easy for them to say. They’re the ones who are usually content with their work -and I am happy for them!

Based on my experience, I already had 3 companies in just a span of 2 years. First was with an international bank. Pay is above average. Too good for a starter! Although it’s for project-based employment only, I was not able to finish the 6-month contract. I can remember myself being so vulnerable during those times because of a personal problem that it kind of reflected to my work ethics. I was often late but still able to deliver. I also felt intimidated with my colleagues. I guess I was shocked with the kind of culture they already have there. They were all very professional – which I really thought was very aspiring. However, they were not just friendly – very opposite to me. I can remember going to work and just talk to my self because they just won’t talk to me. I stayed with the company for just 2 months. Both parties were under mutual agreement that I shall not continue with the contract anymore.

Next was with a recruitment firm. I could say that it was a better place for me because I have found my self a new bunch of friends – those that are of my age bracket. Since my previous work was a mess, I prayed to God that He bless me with a new job that I will enjoy and so He did. The entire stay was fun but I was receiving a not so competitive basic. Although, we get incentives but they are based on how hard you work. Basically, we get extra pay on how many hires we have in a month. I stayed and performed well for about a year and 3 months.

Last was with a known telecommunications company. The opportunity was there and I was receiving a very competitive salary. I stayed for 4 months and left because I was in the state wherein I really didn’t know what I like to do in my life. I was a Strategic Accounts Manager for SME Sales. I get to talk to clients everyday and manage my bag of accounts – which had 64 companies in it. It was in a way a very aggressive selling job and it made me question if I really like what I am doing. I am a graduate of Marketing and Advertising and to me Sales is really not what I would want to do. I would rather do branding or think of a product concept and present it to the Sales team because that’s where I am exceptionally good at.

After leaving the most recent company, I just thought to myself of what I really want to do and it fucks me up every time I don’t get to respond with a more precise answer. Should I study again and get a 2nd degree because it’s too early for me to get Master’s or enroll to a culinary school? I also thought about going abroad but was having hesitations and I can’t live alone. Needless to say but I want so much to do in my life that I don’t know where to start.

Because of my situation, I could not help but feel bad for not having a stable job. I was thinking about it for quite some time. I didn’t want to regret that’s why I looked in to the brighter side. I realized that there isn’t really a need for rush, that I should not feel bad, and that I have to allow myself to commit more mistakes as possible so I can learn from it. I know that in time God will bless me with what I deserve.

So to anyone who goes through the same thing, it’s okay or it will be okay. If you ever need to think about quitting your job, weigh your chances, think deeper and most importantly, pray. Besides, it’s hard to continue if half-hearted. You will not have the answers as soon as you needed them but it will come. God will enlighten you with it. Do what makes you happy.

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Keep Going

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Just a short read to push your limits!

The past weeks have been a struggle at work. Almost everyone thought of resigning. Some already left while others still undecided. There has been a drastic change in the management, too! They pulled out some of my teammates to handle another account; and they will be relocated to another building which is a few blocks away from ours. We have been super tight as a team that we took this adjustment very seriously.

The main reason why I chose to stay with the company is because I enjoy who I’m working with. There were those days that I couldn’t cheer myself up after a long day and there goes my team who – despite the same pressure that we deal with every day – always finds a way to crack me up.

While I can’t seem to figure out on how to cope with the pressure that everyone in the office is going through, I just realized that the more that this job challenges me, the more that I should be doing.

We turn a day older every day and we must assure to make the most out of what we have. Not everyone is blessed with a job and not everyone likes whatever it is that they do on a daily basis – and that is totally understandable. However, as we mature, we must realize that we should not always seek for the perfect one or the perfect job for this matter. There is no perfect job or a prefect boss.

Not all things will make their own adjustments for us. We have to learn on how to love our jobs. Quitting without even trying is for me the most chicken-livered thing that anyone can ever do. It is like assuming the worst without working for the best.  As long as we do our jobs with a little positivity, I’m pretty sure that it can get us a long way.

At the end of the day, only those with optimism are sure to have a bright career ahead. Keep going!

Midnight Heartbreak

I was staring at the rain drops the other night when I asked myself “How are you doing?” then I really didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t want to lie and say “Everything’s fine!”. Then it got me thinking all night as I remember everything again; every question that kept me awake during those times when people are probably snoring and having their sweetest of dreams, every tear that I tried to hide so people won’t ask and worry, and every bit of memory with you that I wanted to forget so I can give myself a fresh start.

I’ve been through sleepless nights and it’s one of the many worst parts I have found myself being questionably blessed with. And though there were nights like I wanted to give up, I would always find myself praying at night and that it’d give me hope to be okay tomorrow. Because even if things feel like they’re not okay for a long time, or it might feel like they’re never going to be okay again, everything works out in the end.

Every damn day is another day of heart ache. While I struggled in helping myself find a way to forget, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you and all those promises. How can something surreal turn in to something so tragic?

The day when I realized you’re gone felt like I had lost the sense of sight. I had lost the chance to ever see the beauty of everything that’s left with me. My vision seemed to fade that I’d hope for a rainbow under the shades of black and white. It felt like I’m allergic to all the food I used to like. It felt like I’m deaf that I didn’t know what/who/how to listen to and respond to everything that’s ever said to me. BUT I NEVER ACCEPTED THAT.

I struggled to take back everything that seemed gone at the moment. I did not want to lose my sanity over something I know everyone can cope with. From what I understand in love, it has to start from yourself. Fill yourself with love that you need so you won’t be left alone shattered. And that was my BIGGEST MISTAKE!

I forgot about myself because you’re all that I ever think of. I fell in love with the feeling of being madly in love for the first time. It’s like a magic. Nobody believes it’s possible but it happens. I was blinded by it that I totally forgot to see what I truly deserve. I had lost myself trying to give you every little thing inside me that nothing was left for me.

Now I know how it feels to (somehow) recover from this. I feel thankful despite all. Thank you that you slapped my face from the reality of life – that it is not always going to be as sweet as a cotton candy. Thank you for making me realized that I should learn to love myself more. Thank you for having me experienced how it is like to love someone so much and so true. Discovering that I am capable of loving made me the best person you had lost the chance to be with.

The Bus that Ran Away

i
Then you found the clock ticked at 5:30

And you found yourself waiting for that bus

Thrilled to see her ‘coz you’re one ride away

She was there at the hill waiting for you

So you rode on the bus that ran away

ii

The next day was pretty much the same

You hated work ‘coz she’s the job that you love to take

Falling in line to get off that place

Which used to remind you of how it fades

So you rode on the bus that ran away

iii

You dislike the workplace ‘coz you felt so alone

Away from her and away from home

She kept waiting for you each day

Proof of love and you have nothing else to say

So you rode on the bus that ran away

 iv

Then time came when everything changed

She got tired of waiting and blamed you for nothing

The bus went full and you did not get the spot

You begged for some chance to ride

Luckily, you still rode on the bus that ran away

 v

The journey was soon to end

And you wish you knew it back then

The bus was full again

This time you weren’t lucky enough to get your space

You ended up watching the bus that ran away

vi

You were hoping that the bus will come back for you

So you kept waiting for it each day

And each day you missed it

You soon realized

That she’s the bus that ran away